Indiana Jones and the Car Guard (Visually Expressed)

So this situation happened earlier today in text:

Yuvi:
Guard at Gateway staff parking boom gate:
"Back?" [opens boom without stopping me]
Me:
"Sorry?"
 Guard:
"Weren't you here just now?"
Me:
"... ... ... Yes." [Drives inside]

Sean:
Guard is racist. Trying to imply all indiana look alike.

(Yes, I know it was just a dumb typo and Sean meant to say "all Indians look alike" but I laughed so hard at this that I decided to make a picture and a blog post. IT'S MAH BLOG! I'LL DO WHAT I WAUNT!)

Sandwich (Visually Expressed)

Invasive Adver[CLICK HERE TO WIN AN iPAD]tising

No, you can't really click in the title to win an iPad. Sorry.

But yeah, if you've been religiously following my blog (or if you check it now and then, between your browsing of other websites... or while you're scrolling on Twitter and notice my blog tweets... or while you have nothing better to do while you're crapping or something), you'll know that recently I've posted a fair bit about Android games.

I don't think I'm the only person that has noticed this, but I do play games on my phone quite often recently so maybe it's been much more of a nuisance to me than others.
What am I talking about?
...
... the hell? Did you not read the title?

Anyway, I'm talking about adverts in-game.

I do believe almost every free game on my Android device has become ridiculously overpopulated with adverts.

Now I don't mind the occasional advert. I don't even mind the ones that show up after every single level or whatever.
The problem comes in when it pops up in a place where you're almost guaranteed to accidentally click on it.
I find this really annoying.

A few of the games I still play most often are Jetpack Joyride, Temple Run 2, Subway Surfers, Fruit Ninja (and until recently) Angry Birds. (Don't judge me! There are new challenges etc every day or week and I have to check them, okay!)
Now, before I get back to Jetpack Joyride, lemme complain about the others.
I played all these games since I got my Samsung and even before that (on other people's devices).
All of them were fun, addictive and had excellent replay value.
Recently, however, when I was playing Angry Birds, an advert popped up to annoy me. I accidentally clicked on it, closed the website it opened and continued playing. Then a video advert popped up restricting my game for 20 seconds or so. I eventually got annoyed and stopped playing it because downloading a video every time you finish a level is quite a waste of mobile data. (At least in South Africa it is.)
I mentioned before that I don't mind adverts but when it takes up literally 95% of the screen without warning or wastes your money, it's quite ridiculous. I don't mind when I'm at home and connected to my wi-fi, but I also usually play a game while waiting for a client at their office, when there's no electricity for some reason, and many other situations where I'm not able to save my data.
I've actually taken to playing certain games with my phone in Flight Mode now to avoid this.
I know I actually end up not reaching my data cap anyway, but that's not the point. I'm bitching about something and you should listen.
Yes, mobile game designers. This means you!

The one game I've always been happy with, even when adverts came into play is Jetpack Joyride.
Why?
There's an advert every second time I do a run but NEVER does an advert appear without warning.
It calmly shows up in a block labelled "ADVERTISEMENT" and after it loads, it gives you the option to click "NEXT" just as the rest of the screens in the game work.
Some of the other games show an entire screen-size advert with about an almost-hidden "x" button somewhere on the screen. Does this appear between screens like Jetpack Joyride's adverts?
Of course not. It suddenly appears just as you're about to click a button on the game's menu and you end up clicking the advert instead. Then, half the time, not only does it get in the way here, but when you cancel/exit it and start a new level or a new run, the web page opens up 10 seconds into your game, just as you're about to avoid an obstacle. So naturally, you exit the web page and you die (in the game, I mean. Calm down. the adverts aren't THAT bad...).

The Subway Surfers main menu

The advert that suddenly pops up OVER the main menu as you're about to click on something

An alternative advert that pops up on Subway Surfers that even literally covers the entire screen.

So after reading all the above, I bet half the readers (if not more) are thinking "Screw you, man. You got a free game. The adverts pay the developers for the cost and you're spoilt and you suck and RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!"
But then you clearly did not take in what I said about Jetpack Joyride.

Jetpack Joyride's first "end of run" screen

Jetpack Joyride's next "end of run" screen

How an advert SHOULD pop up (as just another "end of run" screen). It works with the layout so it doesn't cause an accidental click. It comes up as if it is just another part of the game. It's an advert. I take notice of it. But it is not invasive enough for me to hate it. (For those that studied the pictures, I know it's a different run... forgive me. I messed up the original screenshots, but shh... it serves the same purpose)

Hey, game developers.
Take a leaf out of Jetpack Joyride's book (I can't say Halfbrick's book because even Fruit Ninja annoys me with adverts a second before your level even ends) and make the adverts as invasive as you want, but not enough to interrupt game progress or to ruin the fun of your game. Put them between screen transitions, not after the main menu's buttons are visible on the screen. Make the user aware that it is an advert.
It's not some dodgy website that has 50 download buttons, of which 49 are disguised adverts.
It's a game. It's a professional application that thousands (or even millions) of people downloaded.
If your adverts stop people from wanting to play the game, trust me, it's not making you money.

I love all the games I listed here and a lot more that I didn't mention. I'm not bitching about your game. I'm bitching about you not thinking about something being really inconvenient. So please just edit your take on adverts SLIGHTLY to make it more user-friendly.
Thank you. <3

---

BONUS SECTION

I laughed at the detailed status of this install screen in Despicable Me: Minion Rush

I had to laugh at the third related app for this PMS Monitor app. (Yes, it's actually a thing. Unsurprisingly, it didn't help me avoid getting crapped on during PMS rage.)

A New Challenger Approaches!

Good day, all!

How do you do? No, I don't really care. I'm just being polite.
... Hmm... Guess I defeated the purpose of that.

Anyway, I finally used StumbleUpon after ages and came across an awesome website for random comic strips.
You guys already know I like Cyanide and Happiness, The Oatmeal as well as many others, but this (as the title of this post implies) is a new challenger to my comic strip favourites.
It's called The Perry Bible Fellowship and anyone who has my sense of humour will love it. Comics range from dry jokes to horrible dark humour.

I started from comic number ONE and clicked the little "Newer" button each time to scroll through ALL the comics.

Hence, I shall also link you all to comic number one.

CLICK HERE TO READ THAT COMIC I MENTIONED JUST NOW!

Enjoy!

The Problem with Payments (Visually Expressed)

This is a reference to a couple things I actually paid for recently and didn't mind, yet I've still never bought an app from any app store.
Yeah, I'm aware that my comics aren't that well-drawn. I'm an amateur, okay :(

2013-10-23 Entertainment Update

So, Verushka's been out and about often due to work and so I guess I've had a bit more free time recently to play games, watch crap and mess around. Then, she's also been back recently, so I've had lazy time to watch crap with her too. (If she's reading this, she'll be happy to browse the Android games below. I did it mostly for her, but also for anyone else that has an Android.)

 -----

"Current and recent" section:

Games:
So, all my free-time gaming has become mobile since I got my new phone. Android games are awesome!
Never had this stuff on phone before, okay. Let me be.
I shall list some of the best games in their respective categories.

Note 1:
IF YOU'RE READING THIS POST FROM AN ANDROID DEVICE, YOU CAN DOWNLOAD/BUY EACH OF THE GAMES I RECOMMEND (FROM GOOGLE PLAY) BY CLICKING ON THE LINK FOR IT. YAY!

Note 2:
IF YOU DO NOT OWN AN ANDROID DEVICE OR ARE NOT INTERESTED IN ANDROID GAMES, SKIP THIS SECTION, OR I GUESS YOU COULD TRY TO FIND MOST OF THEM FOR YOUR RESPECTIVE DEVICE (IF IT'S A TOUCH SCREEN, HAS A GYROSCOPE AND HAS AN ACCELEROMETER).

Note 3:
SOME APPS ARE NOT FREE BUT I'M NOT GONNA POST FREE LINKS TO THE FULL APP BECAUSE... JUST ... MANY REASONS, OKAY? IF YOU'RE EAGER TO USE YOUR INTERNET SKILLS TO FIND A WAY AROUND THE PAYMENTS, I WON'T TELL YOUR PARENTS. IF YOU GET A VIRUS OR  YOU GET ARRESTED OR KILLED, IT'S NOT MY FAULT.

Final Note:
IF YOU FIND/HAVE  A BETTER VERSION OF ANY APP/GAME I POSTED HERE, FEEL FREE TO USE THAT ONE. MOST OF THESE APPS ARE THE VERSION THAT I HAVE SO I'M JUST USED TO THEM. YOU MIGHT PREFER A DIFFERENT ONE. IF YOU THINK YOUR ONE IS BETTER, FEEL FREE TO LET ME KNOW. I'LL APPRECIATE GETTING A BETTER ONE. :)

[Key: *= Top Rated By Yuvi, ^= Appeared in the list already, $= Paid-for app]

=The 3D Endless Runners (ALL of these are for achievement whores and unlockers):
- Temple Run 1, Temple Run 2, and *Temple Run: Oz ($) If you don't know Temple Run by now, you have not used an Android or iPhone properly. Run as far as you can. Collect coins. Unlock stuff. (Temple Run: Oz is the masterpiece of this series - in my opinion. If you watched the movie, you'll probably love it.)
- *Subway Surfers Subway Surfers is another game you should know by now. Constantly changing challenges give this game a high replay value.
- *Despicable Me: Minion Rush Pretty much a combination of Subway Surfers' controls with the brilliant little add-ons and environment changes from Temple Run: Oz. Plus, it's got minions from Despicable Me! You've gotta love them.
- Danger Dash It's pretty much Temple Run, but in 2.5D instead of 3D. Also, you can morph into a tiger.
- Crazy Chase The Japanese school girl version of Temple Run, except you're on the street, trying to catch a bus. (Cue Verushka's fighting face.)

=The 2D Endless Runners
- *Jetpack Joyride The very best in 2D side-view action. I also love the puns and jokes in the item descriptions. Another game for achievement whores and unlockers.
- Gravity Guy ($/Free version available) To be honest, I don't know if this is directly related to Jetpack Joyride, but either way, it's fun too.

=The Single-Player Level-Beaters
- *Plants Vs Zombies ($)  If you don't know this one, you've been living in a hole, free from small-scale gaming. You've also not been reading my blog nicely. The very strange name pretty much sums up this strategy game. (You're the plants.) Achievement whores and unlockers will rejoice.
- *World of Goo ($) Basically Bridge-Builder but with Goo and with a surreal storyline
- *Angry Birds ($/Free version available) Seriously now. You can't NOT know this one. Pigs steal eggs. Birds get angry. That's pretty much the storyline. Otherwise, it's just a physics-based "Destroy the towers" game.
- *Candy Crush Saga Basically, it's Bejeweled where you match three or more of the same blocks in a row to score/progress. (You need to link to Facebook to enjoy this one fully)
- Labyrinth ($/Free version available), Labyrinth 2 ($/Free version available) This game makes great use of your gyroscope. Two words: Tilt maze.
- Star Chef A memory/quick reaction game where you need to serve customers quickly. The overall feel of the game reminds me of Candy Crush.
- Slice HD You guys know that I have to put in some horrible bloody mess here somewhere. Okay, so it's not nearly that bad. The point of this game is simply to push the red button(s). The catch is that there are blades that you have to carefully avoid/move in order to press the button. If you get sliced, you fail.

=The Arcade Games That Never Really Get Old
- *Fruit Ninja ($/Free version available) This is another one you should already know. Literally just swipe the screen to slash fruit. Don't hit the bombs! Different game modes, stuff to unlock. The Arcade makes for an excellent quick game if you've literally got a minute to spare. Unlockers will smile, achievement whores will wonder why you can't check your achievement list :/
- *Hungry Shark Evolution You are a shark. You eat everything. There is gore. There is death. And there are achievements and unlockables. It's awesome.
- Real Racing 3 What list of games would be complete without an EA Games release? Awesome graphics and FREE! Just be aware that after you're downloading the setup, not the game. The setup still downloads close to 800mb when you run it.
- Top Gear: Stunt School SSR ($/Free version available) A really random game where each level has some odd objective. Top Gear fans will close their eyes and enjoy the familiar music when they get to the main menu.
- Re-VOLT Classic ($/Free version available)  A fun little racing game where you control a remote controlled car.

=The Multiplayer (On One Device) Games
- 3D Bowling (For those who are confused, drag the ball left and right to aim, swipe/flick above the ball, not on it, to bowl the ball. The speed and direction of the flick obviously affects the bowling speed and direction. Curving the ball works too.)
- *Wrestle Jump In my opinion, the most fun multiplayer game on my phone... and yet, it's not on Google Play? Download the apk file and install it on your Android device.
- ^Gravity Guy ($/Free version available)
- *Glow Hockey 2 In this case, the sequel is the only one that supports Multiplayer. It's boring alone, so just get this one.
- *2-Player Reactor A very simple version of "fastest finger first" but a lot of fun.
- *Buzzer Arena A slightly more graphic-friendly version of 2-Player Reactor
- Pocket Soccer Some laugh at the name, but it's a pretty fun game involving taking turns to flick your team's tokens to score a goal. (You forfeit your turn if you wait too long!)
- Tic Tac Toe The simple time-wasting game that everyone knows (Noughts and Crosses? X's and O's? Same one.)
- Chess Free If you don't know what chess is, you don't deserve to read this blog.
- Slingshot Racing ($) Tap your corner to turn, let go to drive straight. That's all there is to it.


Okay, kids. That's all the Android games for now. I'll add more next time if I get anything epic.

Music:
I haven't updated this in a while, so I'll just mention some songs that I enjoyed in the last few months:
Micasa - Jika
PHFAT - The Machine
Duck Sauce - It's You
DJ Naaldekoker ft Richard Brokensha - Lost in Here
F.eU ft Nyanda - Cool & Deadly
Martin Garrix - Animals


Series:
Dragons: Riders of Berk
I finally watched How To Train Your Dragon at the beginning of the year...? Maybe last year? ... And I enjoyed it thoroughly. So when I heard there was a series for the franchise, I checked it out and I'm watching every episode with Verushka (who loves Toothless a bit too much...). Such an awesome concept for people who like pets but are also cool enough to think dragons are awesome.

Toothless from the How To Train Your Dragon franchise

Avatar: The Legend of Korra
Started watching Book One of this series a little while ago, but Book Two has recently come out too.
I loved the first series (Avatar: The Last Airbender) so this, being a direct sequel, caught my attention straight away. Plus, every 5 minutes, there's a phrase about bending that sounds very funny if you have a dirty mind.

Korra posing within view of a statue of Aang (from the opening credits of the series)

Movies:
Now You See Me
I thought this movie was awesome. It held my attention the whole way and the concept was marvelous. Basically Oceans Eleven with magicians.  Plus, the cast was great. I know what Verushka is thinking, but I shall say no more.

This Is The End
If you thought the previous movie had an incredible cast, then hold onto your panties, because this is my pick of the [insert period of time here].
Jay Baruchel, Seth Rogan, Jonah Hill and James Franco are SOME of the main celebrities in this movie and it's basically a parody of what might actually happen if judgement day pitched up right now in their lives.
Don't think I need to say more. WATCH IT.

Miscellaneous:
Can't reeeeally think of much for this section right now, except for this:
4K! It's pretty much the new HD. I heard about this stuff a while ago from Cavie and other awesome people, but I never saw a 4K TV until last week.
What is it? Well, I also didn't know for sure until I read this (which Verushka sent me. See. I didn't take credit for finding it.)
So to finish off today's post, here you go. Hope you guys find it interesting.
http://www.techradar.com/news/home-cinema/high-definition/ultra-hd-everything-you-need-to-know-about-4k-tv-1048954

Car Personalities (Visually Expressed)

For those of you who don't know, I've named my car Ifrit, after the Guardian Force from Final Fantasy VIII.
Yes, he appears in most of the Final Fantasy games, but that's where I liked him best.
Also, Ifrit is an Arabic fire demon.
Grrrr!